Rajan Kapoor's Ejaculation 10: “The M.I.D.D.L.E.C.L.A.S.S.: 11 dangerous traits that make it the Most Dangerous Class of India

Who exactly is the Indian middle class? Does such a term exists in the Western world or in International English? Or is it a typical Indian English term? But we all born Indians have a idea inculcated very early in our upbringing of what it is, however vague it may be or however many versions and interpretations of it may exist or be used, as per convenience. Would it mean the educated professionals? Then the debate will start as to the meaning of “education” and “professionalism”.  Mostly we mean anybody ‘schooled’ or rather just ‘passed’, (the Education part is in doubt if our education system at all imparts it) ranging from a graduation to a post-graduation and beyond. And don’t forget the so-called elite of India: The ‘MBAs’! They might be pass-outs from a Jhumri Taliya B-School moving upto the XL-sized bags of Hot Airs and the Gangs of wasIIMpurs. They all assume they are the elite segment of India. A class of their own and with their own caste system of ‘sudras’ to the ‘pure Brahimins’.

The 'middle class' has a very substantial segment belonging to the ‘business class’ which most of the times means that they willingly decided that surviving even a high school or beyond was a waste of time. And promptly went into some business , say the so-called hindutva Traders of the Bhartiya Janta Party (BJP) types. (There are similar other minority religion types too). Of course, nowadays many such business-types are at least a graduate, having reached there if not by merit then by money-power.

So I am a bit confused as to who is the focus of my “middle-class”! So I include all the above, and a few more, as I try to express my views of the 11 dangerous traits this class possesses to endanger ... the individuals, the society, the country India which is trying to position itself as a Global Power in the world.

Statutory Warning: All ‘middle-class’ persons don’t possess all the weaknesses enlisted below. The covered traits are a typical representation of the flaws as a ‘class’. I suppose I have been born into a ‘Hindu Punjabi middle business class’ too! So I will predominantly highlight a hindu middle class for a simple reason that I was born in one before I exited, extracted and evolved into a ‘athiest’.  So no offence meant as I highlight these as a wakeup call for the class. 

 1. M = Manipulative (and hypocrite):  The Middle class will just  do anything to get what they want. The ‘Indian culture’ or ‘Indian Values’ (whatever they mean anyway!) may go to hell as and when it suits them. The parents who lecture their children and others on morals etc. are the first ones to forget them when required. Admissions, Jobs, Promotions, Examinations, Family needs,… the middle class is actually the most manipulative and hypocrite class. The children of middle class families pick up the clues very early. It’s ok to be a hypocrite. The boy may be a bully or a lecher or both in the school or college and will turn respectful once in front of the family and other elders. The girl may go and do all the things unmentionables when out, including sleep with one or more males in the name of freedom and modernity, if not for sheer lust. But the minute she comes home, she switches on the girlish innocent avatar. 

      

It was a no-brainer that Gopal Kanda, the Haryana Home Minister, was a womanizer but nobody during the shocking news of Geetika’s suicide and the following hue and cry by her family members, the press and the middle class, asked the real questions: What was Geetika doing with a such a man for such a long time. And more importantly WHY was the family tolerating it for years. In fact her family was best friends terms with Gopal Kanda till they were getting all the perks. The family conveniently forgot their common sense that how a under-20 young woman, who just wanted to be a air-hostess, kept getting inexplicable promotions and went on to become a director of a company by the age of 22 or so with no qualifications and experience? The truth is the parents and family were proud of their daughter’s ‘connections’  with a powerful man and, in a typical manner of the manipulative middle class, just chose to become blind to the reality and common sense, all in the name of wishing good for their children (and self). And when the pressures made the young woman (that is the other bullshit the Indian middle class indulges in of calling and considering their children as a ‘Boy’ or ‘Girl’ when by all senses they are young 'Men' and 'Women'! Inexperienced, young BUT Adults by all standards: age, legality, physically and by responsibilities etc.) unfortunately commit suicide, the Middle Class family suddenly discovered Gopal Kanda to be a dangerous politician who was exploiting their daughter and how they want justice preferably the Taliban way on the streets. 

The family only NOW has shut up as the details have started emerging of Deepika having had a possible sexual relationship with the minister with a follow-up abortion. As always there was some murmurs of a ‘vulnerable small girl’ being forced into it. How convenient, How naïve, How typically manipulative middle class. As if the powerful minister, the same ‘evil’ politician, would just go and make a inexperienced young woman a director of a company jus on her leadership qualities. What about the possibility that the young woman may have willingly indulged in it for her career ‘upliftment’? Like the others women whose details have emerged. After all in her suicide note, if I remember correctly, Geetika did not accuse Gopal Kanda of sexually exploited her. She talked about having been ‘let down’ by him!! Why did the ‘respectable’ middle class family not stop her from accepting such offers when they weret made a couple of years ago seeing the very implausibility of such offers? The answer is obvious. When convenient the Middle Class just becomes a ostrich and sees nothing. And when caught on the wrong foot go hammers and tongs about propriety, morals and corruption. How convenient indeed! The middle class is most likely, compared to either the ‘poor class’ or the ‘rich and famous class’, to incessantly talk of culture, morals, Indian values at a drop of a hat. And at a drop of another hat, be the first one to forget about them.

 

2.  I = Intrusive:  The Indians are nauseatingly intrusive. They talk a lot of being very ‘cultured’ unlike the western ‘debaucherous’ societies! Intrusive is a integral part of the great Indian ‘culture’! A typical example would be a long distance train travel. Within a couple of hours of the start of the journey, in the name of friendliness and warmth, the Indians will ask the fellow passenger all sorts of probing personal questions ranging from the salary, to family to the relationship with the woman one is travelling with! Some so-called own personal data will be revealed to credibilise, cannibalise and continue the probing going of the hapless victim.

A young relative, who still has not sowed his wild oats, will sermonize a much older and experienced but single relative on the importance of family values. Indians do not wait to be asked if their help is required, which could be a asset say in a public on-the–road situation as I wrote earlier on the ‘strangers’ and their magic, they just barge in which on a personal level can be very maddeningly infuriating if not downright rude or worse. 

   3. D = Derogative/ Derisive: After all the talks of Indian culture, goodness, morality, religious sermons, the middle class is very racist, insulting and intolerant of ‘others’. So Bengalis will think they are the God’s gift when it comes to culture, the Punjabis will guffaw about the sleazy  and cowardly ‘Madrasis’, the South Indians will look at the other Indians as uncouth barbarians; the Hindus may believe they are so powerful that they have to kill to save their Lord Rama and other gods; the Muslims may see devils everywhere … the list could go on. And when a foreigner comes along they all will forget their internal wars and gang up to call the person a ‘pervert’ if he is a White man, a ‘ape’ if he is a black man, a ‘monkey’ if a tribal like Andrew Symonds comes along, and grope and rape a ‘prostitute’ if a foreign woman visits alone. Then after the foreigners leave, they go back to each other’s throats! 

 

A recent article in the Outlook magazine (September 10, 2012 issue) by Sagarika Ghose, a IBN-CNN TV anchor and the wife of Rajdeep Sardesai, and of the Mamata walk-out fame, writes of receiving hundreds of tweets in explicit hindi and broken English expletives from the Hindu culture exponents!

   

The respectable middle class parents will be often be seen condescendingly smiling, if not join in, as their ‘cultured’ children rag a ‘mad’ person on the streets, burst crackers by tying it on the tails of a mute animal, or make fun of disabled persons. Every brain-related illness or a handicap is madness; every single man or woman who does not follows their codes of conduct or living is a pervert, a psycho or both. Listening to such judgements of their parents, the children grow up to further the cause! And it does not matter if they finally end up in a IIM or a XLRI or a IIT. The upbringing biases is always superior to schooling and more long-lasting. The 2- 4 years roller-coaster life in such schools cannot edit or modify the 20 years or more long brain-washing. Anyway the 2 years add extra biases like their exclusiveness etc.!! 

 4. D = Dumb:  Believe it or not in spite of all the above traits, the middle class is paradoxically incredibly dumb. Be it socially, religiously or politically.  One example lies in the Geetika case related earlier. So dumb that the family actually believed or got blinded by the lucrative offers the young woman got. No making use of family’s cumulative experience in evaluating the merits of such offers! Till it is too late (in this case the pun is intended). Religiously, the Hindu middle class is absolutely foolish quite many times. And it includes the so called the educated class. ‘Faith’ gets confused with some amazing stupidity. So undying beliefs in miracles, and lack of self-belief and self-responsibility, allows godmen, godwomen and traditions to ravage this class more than any politicians or Dawood Ibrahims will ever do so together. My feelings on this could be and will be a article or a book by itself. An example or two will suffice here. 

  

As a then agnostic in 1997, I was briefly staying with a cousin of mine in Delhi, who was very unstable in his business and had called me to help him. I was reluctant as I was happy teaching in Mumbai and even though I did not make much money I was more content than what he seemed to be inspite of having a lovely wife and a lovely school-going daughter. He emotionally blackmailed me into “just come over to be a support, you do not need to know anything about the business…”.  I went. 

Every day started with a long session of ‘pujas’ at home. Then on the way back home in the evening he had to go to a mandir unfailingly. And he would force me to go with him. I suppose my ‘support’ which he needed extended to his long-drawn conversations with gods. Out of politeness I went along but in the best traditions of the ‘Deewar’ movie I would stand outside the temple waiting for him to get over with his daily salvations. And what I saw there was a great example of the blind following of traditions and rites. As the devotees trooped out of the over-crowded temple, most would walk up to a big peepal tree next to me and pour the lighted lamp’s oil as a offering to the tree. The huge tree had died many years ago by the overdose of the oil being poured onto it as a part of rites; it had turned a ghastly rotten black stump devoid of any life and oozing oil all over! The so-called Hindu blind men and women, who boast of respecting life in all its forms, had not only killed the tree, they were fucking up its after-life too. And each of the devotee morons kept coming one after one, with a very Buddha-like serene look, and continuing the rape to get their own nirvana.

  Look what the same idiots have done to the most holy river of theirs. The Holy Ganga. The rape is literal. Millions penetrate Ganga everyday. They enter her to bathe there. They enter her to wash clothes there. They enter her to throw garbage there. They even immerse the idols into her in the name of tradition. Ram teri Ganga raped ho gayi, Paapi ke penetration sehte sehte !!! The dumb middle class cannot modify their rites in these teeming millions days to keep the faith but not the traditions and rites which are unsuitable now. 

Socially, the dumb middle class does not checks the antecedents of NRI and local grooms before marrying their daughters to strangers just paying heed to their NRI status or MBA /Engineering/ CA etc qualifications and the resultant abuse and torture of their daughters. Yesterday’s very protected virginal daughters literally, but officially, get raped and deserted not in villages but in towns, cities and countries! 

5. L = Liars:   Lying comes easy for the class which is so convoluted and complexed about its identity and beliefs. The father who just lectured his kids on the sins of lying, tells the same kid to tell the unwanted visitor on the door that Dad is not home leaving the kids very confused and progressively accepting that lying is ok as a tool of manipulation and survival. A adult daughter may get involve in a sexual relationship willingly with a male but the minute she will be in the danger of being exposed, she will put on a very naive, innocent, vulnerable look, which actually comes very easy to a Indian middle–class female, and accuse the poor male of exploiting her innocence. How convenient. The wretched male may be lynched and if he survives then put in a jail, while the female after a tearful face in front of  the family will sooner than later will be at it again! And the irony is Facebook has hundreds of ‘Save-a-woman’ messages when many times the males may need some ‘save me ‘ messages! 

On a daily life, the lying habit is rampant and not considered a sin at all. In fact it is displayed as smartness. As a ex-teacher I have had to face hundreds of lies from students ranging from the routine to some incredible bullshit. Seriously, some students’ grand parents die at least 6 times in a year, however implausible it may be biologically. No teacher or a boss ever believes the reason of a absent person on account of sickness even when it is true, so blatantly misused it has been.

  

      6. E= Expressive:  In a undesirable way most of the times. It is the class which majorly is responsible for making superstars of certain achievers – cricket and films being the surrogate gods of Indians. After all the sermons, TV serials, religious traditions and idol worships, and some ‘miracles’ here and there, Gods remain unseen. So as a compensation these  superstars become the expressed replacements. So a Sachin will be worshipped as a God. Not so much for his discipline or prodigious cricket skills but that he gives the inferiority-complex ridden middle class a real-life nirvana by ‘making’ it feel a worthy Indian who is a world-beater!  Cricketing skills or the understanding of the sporting realities is a non-issue or a non-understood concept for most middle-class members who never were inculcated with the importance of sports and fitness in a human life. See how recently a elite college like St Stephens dealt with a just-returned world champion team captain! 

     

     Middle-class families will over-feed their children into becoming ‘balloons’ and call them ‘healthy children’! Do not get fooled by the so called the recent trends of young men and women joining gyms for fitness! The reasons are wrong. Some may end up developing  a 6-packs look or a sexy bod which may still not make them Sporting or Fit in the real sense but as artificially acquired as Pamela Anderson’s boobs job.  So the expressive middle-class packs stadiums, pubs, homes … roaring at Sachin to bludegeon the opponents with a century every single time he walks out to bat. As he has been anoint a God by them he has to. When the form eludes him or age slows him down and he changes his game to adapt to the demands, but is still very capable, the same worshippers will analyse, insult and abuse even Sachin and ask for his retirement and start cheering the replacement gladiator or god who will give them the next communal orgasm as they dance and whistle like idiots in the stadium.

      7. C = Corrupt (and ‘greedy’):  It is a myth the most corrupt class is the Politicians. The corrupt middle class numbers  is huge. Anyway the politicians are a subset of the middle class! The foolish Team Anna may believe that the middle class is with them with the thronging crowds and the viral social networks. When needed the same middle class did and will desert them conveniently. After talking about honesty and integrity see how they are now treating and passing personal derogatory remarks about the known rare honest politicians like Dr Manmohan Singh or even a Prithviraj Chauvan.

The Indian consumerism revolution has been fuelled by this class. And all it’s ills. This class wants all the goodies or fame at any cost. So one sees the pushy parents throwing the gawky teenagers into the competitions be in studies or extra-curriculars. The relentless pressures, comparisons and expectations wrecks the minds and lives of many kids of such families. Even if they do succeed in meeting the expectations of their elders the resultant scars may be permanent if not fatal. One sees the middle-class families pushing their children to pursue fame which the parents failed in. A teenager being displayed in the beauty pageants of all sizes and shapes. The poor girl suddenly wears accessories and displays the body in never-before way and all is accepted by the greedy parents sniffing the fame. If success comes, the erst-while fiercely protected girl overnight metamorphises into a wordly-wise woman foregoing the remaining years of teenage and innocence and the parents are suddenly very liberal and accomodating as never before. If success misses them, the desperation makes the family take the kids to similar other events and contests in search of the elusive success and many of these persons fall in the wrong hands of the concerned industry never able to move back.  

The other middle-class youth and their elders in their desire to have most sought things at home and become a ‘nouveau-riche’ class become pervadingly corrupt (they call it becoming ‘practical’) and display a no-hold approach. And the associated desire of showing off the possessions to the world. And berating the ‘tortoises’ who have managed to retain sanity and not become greedy by hook or crook. And continuing being jealous of those who have fame and money by having worked long and honestly for it , passing insinuations of them and their lives

8    8. L = Lemmings (Insecure):  Standing there near the earlier mentioned dead black peepal tree gave me a lot of nirvanas about the so-called hindus pouring oil on it. One, if only my beleaguered cousin spent the hours he spends on pujas on his business he would have been more successful; Two, the devotees are so obsessed with the rites in search of their wants that the death of the revered tree is not a issue; Three, how do the hindus treat their gods. As a tout? A student will not study the entire year and just before the exams will visit a temple, do a puja, offer money to a god and the god will be so bribed by the offerings that it will make the student pass the exams ignoring what the student the entire year?!  

     The hindu middle class imposes its famed traits on the gods too. Everybody is purchaseable including the gods! Money will get you a fast-track entry in most temples; the corrupt offer cash, jewellery etc to the gods who are supposed to in return forgive them and bless them for their future acts. A simpleton fakir called the Sai Baba today has ironically his Shirdi temple resplendent in gold and jewellery. A total insult of the simplicity of the baba.

If a rumour starts at one place in India of a ‘miracle’ that the Ganesha idol is drinking milk, the whole country starts seeing the miracle at nooks and corners. Mad hordes throng the sites to ‘see’ the miracle and if in the resultant melee a few hundreds die or get injured, well it’s collateral damage. Gods don’t mind and continue the miracle for the survivors. And then they suddenly stop as suddenly as they started. The ‘wise men’ will have a explanation for that too.

A modern version of the lemming behavior was in the Facebook recently. When some got a “beware” update of the privacy being violated in some settings and what to do about it and to pass the message along, 100s of idiots spread the Chinese whisper without bothering to check the veracity of the messages, till a article in CNN-IBN website talked about the misleading scare.

      9. A = Apathy: Let us not be fooled by this class's so-called occasional vigorous flag-waving pseudo-patriotism. This class mostly has no involvement or stake-holding in their country’s growth globally. A Mamta will keeping screwing the country’s happiness with her periodical tantrums for her local electorate; A Karunanidhi will ‘sleep’ with the killers of the country’s ex-prime minister, under the guise of helping the fellow tamils, to keep his electorate happy; A  Left front will take its hatred of the USA so seriously that they will almost destroy India’s security by objecting to its needs for strategic alliances; and they are what they are because they each have millions of middle class supporters, who are like their religion, are blinded by their political or parochial loyalties and do not care or understand the needs of a country as a whole. Even the educated class sub-group of the middle class will be so obsessed with its career, perks, and other benefits that it will give a damn for any sacrifices the country may demand of it. Each of them has to buy a car to showoff one’s success even though the car may most of the  time may be a useless accessory with over-crowded roads, unending traffic snarls, costly fuel, and worst destroyed environment. Possessing a environmental-friendly, a fitness tool and a very apt mode of travel in a crowded city- the BICYCLE- is so unacceptable and so ‘down market’  idea that possibly one of the rare sensible modern invention:  technologically, socially, environtmentally, economically etc. - has not become a modern cult tool. Just a poor man's accessory.

The middle class is more bothered about the selfish needs and subsidies it has got so used to. A LPG cylinder should not cost Rs 800 but the same family, on its weekly trip to multiplexes, is willing to buy cinema tickets for Rs 200 per head or willingly eat a cold insipid ‘samosa’ in the same place for Rs 100 per piece without any murmur!

10. S =Sex:   The middle class is most obsessed with it. As the old joke goes that the only creativity Indians display is in the population! They are fear it, they indulge in it, they condemn it! The biggest single obsession of the class and also the single-most hate subject. (Rest in a new article to cover it in details).

      11. S = Submissive: The last trait may appear strange after all the above! But most of all the above aggressive traits are a manifestation of a insecure class which metamorphoses it into a bully. The class always castigates, derides and insults the weak or the ‘solitary reapers’. For example, the ‘dalits’ were humiliated, slaved and tortured by the ‘middle class’ for centuries in India.  But the minute it has to face a powerful & organized group, legal or illegal, the middle class is the first one to surrender. The ‘rich and famous’ are secure in their world and the ‘poor’ so insecure that they have nothing to lose, but the middle class is in a world where they are much better placed than the ‘poor’, earn money quite well, enjoy quite a few perks by the organizations they work for, but the aspirations are to become a part of the ‘rich and famous’. And other personal goals from getting a mistress to marrying the kids to retirement. And they do not wany any ‘lafdas’ in the pursuits. So the minute a strong group appears pressuring the society they are the first to submit! It could be a political group, a social group or a religious group. 

     So if a strong hindutva local group orders no more jeans for women, the middle class in the area will be the first to follow the dictat. While the Gandhians and the revolutionaries, a minority of India, were busy protesting against the British rule, the majority middle class was just sucking up to the ‘Bada Sahibs’ to live without any ‘pangas’. Who cared about the country? But the minute India became free, eversince every middle class family elder has told the coming generations stories of their freedom fights! 

© Rajan Kapoor 2012